


we're here to see the colour grey

by starfleetbanana



Series: nobody asked us [1]
Category: All For the Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Masturbation, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-30
Updated: 2016-08-30
Packaged: 2018-08-11 21:54:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7908997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starfleetbanana/pseuds/starfleetbanana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Neil had grown up sure he was the kind of person who’d never get to see in colour. There were people who spent their entire lives without knowing what colour was like, and he’d already accepted a life on the run wouldn’t give him a chance to even figure out who had made his entire world change. </p><p>Soulmates AU where they see in black and white until they meet their soulmates and stop seeing colour when their soulmates die.</p>
            </blockquote>





	we're here to see the colour grey

**Author's Note:**

> I've literally no excuse, this is the second Andreil fic I've posted today and the third in three days, woops. I wanted to write 10k of this but it got weird and I'd have to rewrite the whole series so I just had to write at least some part of it. Enjoy!
> 
> *set after Baltimore. They're already together in this they just sorta forgot to mention the important thing happening lmao.

“How long?” Andrew asked looking at the horizon. The sun was setting and Neil could see the mixture of colours in the sky behind Andrew’s back. The thought of Andrew seeing in black and white killed him.

He’d grown up believing he was the kind of person who’d never get to see in colour. There were people who spent their entire lives without knowing what colour was like, and he’d already accepted a life on the run wouldn’t give him a chance to even figure out who had made his entire world change.

His entire world had indeed shifted when Andrew hit him with an Exy racquet back in Millport. He’d opened his eyes and seen the goalkeeper’s figure right in front of him as he struggled to breathe, his eyes watering as he stared at his vicious smile. That moment had meant being condemned to have to keep running forever to hide himself from the only thing that was supposed to settle him down. He was utterly frightened as he looked at Andrew’s hazel eyes that had once been grey.

“Since Millport” He answered. His hands were shaking and he wasn’t sure he could keep breathing steadily anymore.

Being the kind of person Neil Josten was, he’d become oblivious of Andrew’s behaviour. He used to make private comments about the way things looked, without exactly making it clear he even saw the way Neil blushed.

Neil wished all of it was only for him, so he’d finally find someone to hold onto without being afraid. Now he’d been through hell and back, bearing scars and healing slowly he could tell the truth and stay if it was what Andrew wanted.

“Nicky told you once he thought I wasn’t capable of ever seeing colour”.

“He also said it was sad when you were with somebody without seeing any colour” Neil added. He wanted to cry, but not because of what Andrew was saying. No matter what he’d always have Andrew’s answer in his mind, his voice sure, his reassurance becoming sloppy kisses and quick touches. It was sad to think Andrew’s world was so quiet when it wasn’t full of hate and hurt, but he could accept that and take it for as long as he let him.

“Since Millport” Andrew replied standing up with the help of his hands. The rooftop had become their place to share not only kisses and inner struggles but also silent “I hate you”s. He went down the stairs, Neil following him with a dizzying intensity hitting him. The orange of his hoodie seemed brighter, the stars shined so bright for a second he feared the sky was becoming slowly black and white. He lowered his gaze and followed Andrew down the stairs.

 When they got to their room he listened to Kevin’s words without giving them a thought. Yes, the tattoo, he thought. Yes, Riko, he remembered. But that didn’t mean anything anymore because now he was as safe as he’d ever be while the Moriyamas were still alive. The tattoo had been covered by something else. No one could mark him as anything unless he wanted to belong to something or someone. What Riko’d do to him was no worse than what the Wesninski’d done to him.

All their threats felt like nothing as he felt like the colours of the images on the TV hurt his eyes. _Andrew could see that too._

Kevin walked out of the room, frustration in his face as he thought about Riko coming back for the both of them. He had to remind himself constantly that wouldn’t happen. 

After a few seconds his vision came back to him. Andrew was in front of him holding a cup of coffee he knew Neil would have a hard time taking in his own hands. He was grateful at least Andrew still treated him normally.

“I choked him because the colours were fading” Andrew offered as an explanation. Neil knew he didn’t need it, but he still accepted everything Andrew said to him. It was a ‘welcome back’ and a way to tell Neil he needed him.

Neil had also thought he was dying at that very moment, and more than physical pain, what had hurt him the most was the idea of depriving Andrew of seeing colour ever again if he was his soulmate too. It would turn him into nothing. Without his meds Andrew had no highs or lows, he was nothing and everything at the same time and Neil was learning how to deal with that. He hated feeling like he had to stay alive simply to keep Andrew feeling something at once.

“They know. They noticed before you did, back at the hotel. The ones who saw what I saw know I can, you know-“

“See” Neil continued. Andrew’s words made him realise how there was nothing else to hide. He was grateful he could see the colour of his eyes and the way it changed. He’d spent so much time hiding everything he saw in Andrew and in the rest of the world that made him feel alive he felt relief washing over him. He could see, they could look into each other’s eyes and talk about details of each other that were exclusive to their intimacy.

Neil kept the cup in his hands letting the coffee get cold as Andrew shifted closer in the sofa. There was more than enough room for the both of them, but he still chose to press his body against Neil’s, careful not to touch his wounds, the ones he’d tend to later, the ones he’d flinch at since he could see them in full detail. Neil had a lump in his throat by the time Andrew pressed a kiss to his chapped lips. Every second of it hurt, this time worse, since he was trying to deepen the kiss and reach for Andrew’s hair with one free hand. Andrew stopped him with his hand on his jaw. Neil opened his eyes at the contact, waiting for Andrew to whisper something into his mouth.

“Your eyes are blue, your name is Neil Abram Josten” He said, cupping Neil’s face. Neil flinched as his fingers moved slowly on his skin, inspecting the burns. Touching felt so much more intense when it was his soulmate who did it. “Yes or no?”

All of those months they’d been sitting on a rooftop sharing sunsets. They’d gone to Columbia, had colourful ice cream that melted into browns or dark greens, and stared into the swirling lights of Eden’s Twilight. They’d trained in the Foxhole Court, blinded by the bright orange of its walls. They’d looked into each other’s eyes without meaning to, words trapped inside them because they weren’t enough to say _your eyes are blue._

“Orange looks good on you” He whispered back, Andrew’s fingers on his lips. Neil was feeling so much at once it was like he was choking on air taking in the way the light made Andrew’s hair look darker, the bags under his eyes a deep purple. Neil placed his cup of coffee on the floor with Andrew’s help “Yes”.

When they were sitting again, now with Andrew straddling his thighs, he yanked at the neck of his sweatshirt, asking him to take it off. It was really a request to do it himself, since Neil’s movement was incredibly limited by his wounds and bandages, and his hands were pretty much useless. He lifted his arms carefully as Andrew tried to take it off.

Andrew’d seen his scars numerous times before, but somehow this time it felt way more intimate, this time Neil felt real for once. Then Andrew took off his armbands, letting Neil see what he’d tried to avoid staring at whenever he shared a bed with Andrew. He wanted to see the colour of his scars; he wanted to kiss him mad even though he knew it would be the other way around.

He was used to seeing Andrew’s chest and arms, but he still appreciated every second he spent looking at him. His weight on top of him reminded him he was lucky enough to be there and experience a side of Andrew no one ever got to meet, he was lucky enough to see how his skin reddened with his kisses.

“I hate the way everything looks on you” His words were muffled by his t shirt, Neil’s hands on his chest, paying attention to every one of Andrew’s movements to make sure it was okay. They stared at each other as if they’d finally realised they were seeing colours and Neil felt as if he’d only been torn apart to be put back together by the boy in front of him.

Andrew was a destructive force, keeping the chaos quiet inside of him until it became silent, a silence so overwhelming he couldn’t process anything else, not even colours. Neil was the opposite, he let himself be hurt by everyone else but still, Andrew hadn’t hurt him because thanks to him the world had become more interesting. He liked seeing the blue and yellow undertones of the bruises he left on Nicky’s arms, he loved seeing fear on people’s eyes and chasing it with his own.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Neil asked. He had his own answer and the time had proven him right. He was in danger and he couldn’t stay, he couldn’t pretend they were the kind of soulmates who were allowed to hate and _hate_ each other. Andrew’s shirt finally felt next to him and he shifted his hips so he could get his sweatpants out of the way too, but Andrew’s weight stopped him from moving.

He cupped Neil’s jaw again. “I wanted to know if you were interesting enough” He answered and shrugged. Neil smiled to himself.

It’d turned out completely different from what Andrew had expected – _if_ he’d ever expected anything from Neil, really-. Neil was simple, only if a bit of a liar and definitely interesting enough to keep Andrew around with the excuse of Kevin for a while. He’d stopped trying to pretend altogether months ago while Neil was still getting used to reading his expression.

Andrew never smiled sincerely and it wasn’t easy to get anything from him other than a shrug most times, but Neil saw something not a lot of people got to see: Even if Andrew wouldn’t smile or laugh, his eyes lit up for a second. It was as much as he’d get from him and he was glad he could see that in that very moment, as Andrew carefully placed his hands on Neil’s arms.

“Am I interesting enough now?” Neil asked, interrupted by his own grunt as he felt Andrew grind against him.

“Yes or no?” Andrew asked again and Neil nodded. “Hands on my hips, if they get lower I’ll kill you”.

Neil’s body tensed feeling Andrew trembling under his touch as he unbuttoned his jeans, sliding his right hand into his boxers afterward. He started stroking himself slowly, lips parted and eyes fixed on Neil’s. Neil was dying to touch him, but he also understood Andrew felt safer that way.

He kept staring at him as his rhythm changed, helping him thrust into his own hand as he gripped his hips tighter. Andrew was silent as he slowed his hand for a few seconds. Neil couldn’t see, but he saw in his expression Andrew wanted it to last. He muttered words of encouragement without noticing, knowing that at some point Andrew would tell him to shut the fuck up.

“Andrew” He whispered right before Andrew kissed him wantonly. The couch was uncomfortable and he felt like something was bleeding but he kept his hands in place and nipped at Andrew’s jaw and pressed open mouthed kisses to his neck waiting for a groan. His hand stilled as he came in his underwear, still shaking under Neil’s grip with his eyes closed. Neil leaned back on the sofa and when he opened his eyes Neil’s seemed bluer than ever.

Andrew cleaned his hand on Neil’s stomach and said “You’re gross” as he shifted to sit next to him. It was his cue to stand up and get the plastic bags again so he could have a shower with Andrew’s help. Smiling at him, the TV still on with a forgotten episode of some extremely colourful cartoon, he thought of how Andrew had managed to change his reality multiple times simply by being there. He felt like he belonged there.

“Can I get some help over here?” Neil asked exposing his arms. Andrew stood up and guided him to the bathroom to help him shower. He’d never recognise how much he enjoyed helping him with little things, whispering sweet nothings he hoped Neil would never hear.

 


End file.
